Sunday, June 24, 2012

Tere kodu! :)

There's been so much happening lately that I don't even want to write about everything!! Well our trip to London was simply awesome!! A lot of german neighbours, call me maybe signs, blink 182!!!! the all american rejects!!! the feeling cant be described. And now im back in estonia!! It was strange at first.... my own bed, no helen :( , and i couldnt sleep til 5 AM for the first week. Just over excited, i suppose, but now im used to everything. Not used to in a routine way, but rather that im sooooooo freakingly happy.
Have done some cooking lately , tiramisu and sweet sour chicken of course. Done so much with the past two weeks that I prefer not thinking about it. Yesterday was the midsummer day and it was one of the most awesome ones ive ever had.... good timeeeeees :D

Heiheihei!!! lood siis seekord sellised, et Londonist jõudsin ma ilmselgelt ilusti tagasi(ülivingete elamuste ja mälestustega) ja nüüd olen jälle kodumaa pinnale end puhkama asetanud paariks kuuks. Alguses oli küll harjumatu oma voodis magada ja leiba süüa ja ise kokkata(tiramisuuu ja magushapu kana here i
comeeeee ja kooki ka !!) Ei tea kuidas ma siia küll kirjutada jõuan, kuid loodetavasti piltidega suudan teid ikka üle pajatada. Jaanipäev läks küll väga korda, mõnus tripp oli ja nüüdseks olen isegi enam-vähem välja puhanud. Paar päeva veel kuueteist aastasena alles jäänud ning siis ongi see minu lemmik 17 käes :) Ei, aga väga tsill, nautige teiegi Eesti vihmast suve ja jookske maal ringi ja matke end liiva sisse ja sõitke limuga ja veetke kallite inimestega aega ja kuulake hommikust linnulaulu, aga samal ajal magage poole lõunani, et ilusti puhatud saaks ! :)

PS! mu suure vasaku varba küüs tuli ära, suht jube värk. Kristin Jänes on ka kohe kohe Tallinnas.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

A successful book is not made of what is in it, but what is left out of it. (Mark Twain)

Today we had a talk about this play we went to see with our English class and  a few comments made by my classmates encouraged me to publish this little “essay” I wrote after the play when I was filled with emotions and different thoughts.

It was so powerful that it made me feel absolutely powerless. I left the theatre with no feelings. No emotions. Or was I so overwhelmed with emotions that I felt absolutely nothing? That play started off with complete non-sense. A lot of sex, violence, but it had a meaning from the beginning. There was a direction all along. People of Minsk, people of any “very democratic” country are just defenceless against government. There is nothing to do, no way to show that you are against the regime. What does the outside world do? - should they arrange something like Rwanda, Syria? Other countries come and are awfully willing help and after three months it’s out of their attention again. It doesn’t matter, because nobody cares. In the end nobody cares. It’s called selfishness. If you don’t have anything precious to give back to the other country(such as oil) then you are useless. When you are useless, nobody helps you. Nobody pays attention to what is going on. That’s why young people, as I saw today, have to come together and make a powerful, realistic play about it. A play that makes you think, react and even when it isn’t in your power to do anything, you at least know about it. Knowledge does have the power. Maybe one day it will be needed. Your knowledge may lead to something. You can have your say. Maybe one day you open a newspaper, watch the evening news and then you are the one that can distinguish between the truth and the crap they are presenting you. At least those young people today affected that small audience and they got to express themselves. They really did express themselves. Their emotions were pure and so were their experiences. That was their way of showing us what is going on and it had to be shocking in order to have an impact. It wasn’t that they showed a lot of naked bodies to get viewers or attention, they showed it to make an impact. The play wasn't spinning around women, even when it was very personal, it always had a greater meaning. To me, it represented freedom, a right to speak up and when our right is hushed, we are simply weak. It showed how defenceless people can be against government, even in today’s world. We have nothing.  
All those thoughts came to my mind and have now almost sorted themselves out, as I walked back from Summertown. As we were coming back as a group, there was a completely random stranger joining us and we started exchanging thoughts about it. How details in that play were even more important than what was going on. We see those details every day, but never pay much attention to them. Our thoughts always develop in a certain way and when they are off the rail, we feel insecure. That play didn't make me feel insecure, but the remark about the details was very observant. Suddenly, when represented in a bizarre way, they become significant. The doors of a metro in a subway are closing and you are suddenly trapped. When those subway doors close, do you ever think about the hundreds of people who have died in a terrorist attack? No. Which is a completely normal way of thinking .. who would ever make the connection with closing doors and a terrorist attack? I suppose you would think, if there would be a disturbance in your every day life and your daily routine would suffer because of that. What if you suddenly wouldn’t be able to go to work because of something that happened in your hometown. It may come as a surprise, but in fact your daily routine is the smallest detail that gets shaken by it. It is the whole society. Your well-being. Your security that has suddenly been interrupted. And suddenly you realise how selfish you are. Your well-being and security? What about those hundreds of people, their families and only thing that seems to be disturbed in your life is your daily routine? Once again you realise how selfish little human being you are. What if one day those doors close and a thought comes to your mind. You are alive, but it could have been you who died in a terrorist attack. Wouldn't you want other people to find out who did it? Furthermore, what was the reason they did it? People don't blow up subways without a reason. Something must be wrong, their heads must actually be clear and they feel like they have to approach their one goal. There can’t be any obstacles, no boundaries, no limits.
People prefer to deal with the consequences. Everything spins around the consequences. What about preventing something? What about finding a way out, what about THE REASONS? Why do people come to that extent that they kill hundreds of people? Society deals with wrong aspects. It would be about time to stop laying around and start fixing.
Those doors close and you are alone. There is no meaning to anything. There is no meaning to anything if your life is censored and you have no right to express yourself. If there are terrorists blowing something up, it isn’t only the problem of the terrorists. It is the way everything is built up. Terrorism just points it out and of course it is wrong and extreme, but nowadays this is a huge red warning sign which tells you that there IS something to be fixed. That it has even been too late to fix it..
The guy I was talking to had lived in Minsk for 10 years of his childhood and was now studying financial mathematics in Oxford university. Apart from the fact that he had some opinions about the play, he also had some opinions about Greece. If Greece would step out of  euro-zone, that would solve the problems. He would have nothing against it and it would be a relatively good solution. I might agree to a certain extent, but I find the whole situation sort of ironic, as the whole euro-zone is built on fake relationships. There is something wrong with your economy? Step out of the zone. Pay us everything and deal with your problems yourself. It doesn’t matter that we were supposed to be one happy family. We didn't stop you when you were causing troubles for yourself, but now deal with them yourself. Even though we saw that what is going to happen to you and were able to predict that this will pull us down as well. It is ironic how fragile it all actually is. The system that is built up by humans can be destroyed unbelievably easily. We are made to believe that it is all built on a hard and sustainable surface, but what it only needs for collapsing, is one tile to break down.  They don't fix the tile when it was showing weaknesses in the early stages, they start helping it only when the whole surface is shaking and almost collapsed. When the tile is broken, they give it a permission to let go. To leave them- to just not let them pull it all down with it. They do it when it is too late. That again leads us back to the problem. People don’t start dealing with problems early enough. Is it our nature? Some biological factor that developed before neolithic times ? but I am completely certain that this is not the way it should be. Things can only be fixed to a limited extend when they are completely broken. That is why we should start from preventing them happening. We live in this naive world, where you start fixing when something is completely broken. I agree with the attitude up to a point, but what if there’s no need to fix, as there is nothing broken? What if you prevent it from breaking? You’d save so much time, money, resouces. You see when it is starting to break, but you don’t let it go too far, you fix it right there. Therefore there is no hard work later and no consequences to deal with. Why not at least try it this way? Of course people will fail and things can’t be prevented but how do you know that nothing can’t be prevented if you haven’t tried it ? You fail once. Stand up. You fail twice stand up again. You need to fail to find a way to fix a problem. You can’t give up half way through and think that you rather deal with consequences and build it up the same way. Although you could build it better and stronger and then start your preventing programme once again. It is so much easier to deal with a problem, if it only has vague roots. As it’s getting stronger, it’s also getting harder to fix. It’s more difficult to fix something. Why not try to notice details, the first signs of a problem, so it wouldn't become severe. Why is it so hard for humans -I do not know, but what I do know is that admitting the problem and actually trying to do something is the first step towards a solution. 

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

THIS Friday!!!  Only two more days.......

And surprise surprise !! It's not only blink 182, but also.......:


Today was such a nice day again and it is so true that small things make people happy.(GO BLINK182!!). Yesterday we were eating that peanut butter cereal that Thomas brought with him and i just LOVED IT. Rory's class passed by even faster tha usually(quite remarkable occasion) And today he gave me some of his very fancy American peanut butter chocolates. SOOO SWEEET and they were simply delicious. Got to love penut butter.. and i have to admit that from time to time we really need to be thankful for America..
uuh.. cant believe i just said it, but its truee!! They have peanut butter!!!!!!!

Next time that im blogging im afraid it's not gonna be as cheery, as I have something prepared for you...:)

But until that, there's one more band performing on friday:

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Hey!! I just met you. And this is crazy, but here´s my number. So call me maybe?

A bit of confusing estonian for you before the English translation..  :) 

Elul on ikka nii palju üllatusi. Ma ei imestaks kui mu vaimne olukord siin täitsa sassi keerataks. Kohe kui mul on halb päev vastab sellele palju parem päev. Või siis halbadel päevadel tundub see mulle vastupidi? Eile oli jälle lihtsalt nii halb olla ja ega tänanegi parem tõotanud tulla. Vihma sadas. Bioloogias võtsime jälle seda classificationit. Geitu pole skypes. Pidime world literature 'is oma kirjutatud näidendit esitama. Matemaatika on ka viimasel ajal isegi hullem selle õpetajaga. Ühesõnaga mu närvid on viimasel ajal igat pidi ringi rännanud. Täna aga saime lõpuks oma järgmise aasta majad ja toad teada. Mulle muidu poleks üldse teada antud, aga kuna meile selline erand tehti, siis saime ka teada. Mega ammu pole õnnest lihtsalt niimoodi hüpanud. Me saime oma esimesse valikusse!!! Täpselt siia majja kus me see aastagi oleme ja kuhu kõik kandideerisid. Üks kõige paremaid tube ka !!! Vahel on küll täitsa selline tunne ,et miski ikka tahab, et ma siin Inglismaal õnnelik oleksin. Kui Anna ära läks sattusin ma Heleniga ühte tuppa ja ma poleks ealeski midagi nii head osanud soovidagi. Meile tehti üleüldse kooli ajaloos esimene erand, et me saaksime Heleniga ühes toas olla, missest et ta on teise aasta õpilane.
Üks õpetaja mängis noorena siin lauatennist ja nüüd oskas mind oma vanasse klubisse soovitada, kus mind kohe ilusti vastu võeti ja igale poole võistlustele korraldatakse transport ära ja kõik on väga toetavad. 
Just sellised väiksed asjad, kus inimesed positiivselt suhtuvad ja pisiasjadega meeleheaks teevad, annavadki energiat ja tahet. Nüüdseks olen juba 4 päeva järjest jooksmas käinud ja ega tänanegi sisi erand polnud. Ilm oli lihtsalt tohutult kehv, aga ilmselgelt me seda ei märganudki, sest meel oli lhitsalt nii hea ja tavapärase 8 km asemel jooksime veidike üle 10 km. Suvel sunnin Varmot ka siis trenni tegema ja teatan talle ka uudise, et ta peab minuga jooksmas hakkama käima. Vaid nädal aega veel ja juba ongi ema ja vend siin ning siis veel mõned päevad ning Eesti- brace yourself-siit ma tulen!!!!1 Suveks kõik head-paremad plaanid tehtud ning nüüd tean, et isegi kooliaasta saab väga hea olema. Ainult Helen saab parema voodi kui mina :( Viskasime münti selle peale, kes seal nurgas oleva õudselt õdusa voodi saab ning ta võitis :D Päris masendav, aga ega sellel erilist tähtsust pole, peaasi et me ühes toas oleme. Meie majas on ka lihtsalt kõige-kõige paremad inimesed üldse. Kõik kes siia majja said on väga tsillid ja seekord ei ole meie tuba isegi wardeni toa kohal!! Ehk me võime nii palju ringi hüpata ja pitsat süüa ja tantsida ja karjuda kui me vähegi tahame, ilma et ta märkust tegema tuleks. Kummaliselt positiivne ellusuhtumine on jälle tagasi.


The weather was bad. Biology lesson was bad. maths was supposed to be even worse than usually, but because of unforeseeable circumstances the day was just WAY TOO AWESOME. Found out that me and Helen are going to be in the best house ever and we got the sweetest room as well!!! Finally we can jump around, eat pizza and dance all night without our warden´s unpleasant disturbance. Some times it really seems like something wants me to be happy here.. we got so lucky with the rooms and that we can be roommates!!! unbelievable... So from now on, every time i´m feeling down i can cheer myself up by just thinking that actually i´m such a lucky person. Every time life takes something away, it replaces it with something new., exciting and challenging. This time it will just make the autumn great as well! :)  and now just enjoy the photos!!! : 

Sunday, June 3, 2012


 Aga meie lähme Blink 182 kontserdile see reede +veedame viimase nädalavahetuse Londonis. NING MA LÄHEN TALLE AUGUSTIS SAKSAMAALE KÜLLAA!!!!