Cultural curiosities I

fairyland

In order to understand why certain things and happenings in a new culture amuse and surprise a person, there is a need to understand a bit of their context. The first thing to admit is that it will never be possible to convey the full context, nor is it always necessary. However, to truly comprehend the element of surprise, temporary discomfort, or frustration that these, now funny, encounters, brought about, I will firstly attempt to describe you the cultural context I come from. Now. I could go about this extremely academically and tell you about the Hofstede’s cultural dimensions, their relation to happiness and individual traits. All extremely fascinating to read and converse about. Especially if interested in trying to understand and measure the ways cultures, not individuals, differ from one another. Buut how about...no. This sounds rather dull for me at the moment. In my free time I avoid the academic style and look for avenues for informal banter and less structure.  Therefore instead I will do the wild thing and display some of my most Estonian traits- give an honest, frank, yet careful description of two dimensions of Estonian culture- cautiousness and directness. These will be important for the narrative stories that will follow. 

Tiny Frog(not a hedgehog)

The first rule of thumb to know is that Estonians are cautious creatures. To really let that sink in, consider the important task that faced Estonians a few years ago- the picking of a national animal.  The battle for the national animal seemed to have a clear winner. The people of Estonia voted for.. wait for it...a hedgehog to be the national animal... A hedgehog... The people thought that the cute little cautious creature, reflects their nature the most. Clearly for marketing reasons, the high up people who make decisions of national importance (such as picking the national animal clearly), picked a wolf. Instead of a hedgehog. Anyhow point made. Estonians consider themselves to be so cautious they wanted a hedgehog to represent them. Yet, this is only a tiny way that represents Estonians tendency for caution.  

Estonians are cautious when using both the spoken and written Word. The Estonian language is dotted with proverbs, borrowed from Russian, German and probably Swedish, that reflect this trait. On a side note, this is one of the few clear benefits of the many different invaders- we have taken the best foods, sayings..gene mixture(pretty gals, nice guys hell yaaah)..from all of them. Proverbs however, are so commonly used that when I have been away from Estonia for a while and my mind goes on its occasional wander to a place called imagination land, I imagine Estonia as a fairyland. People sing and dance in the beautiful forests, around a bonfire, weave floral head wreaths and importantly- talk to each other in proverbs. Talk in proverbs, but as you’ll see in the next part, in a very direct manner. Some relevant proverbs calling for a cautious attitude that are fed to Estonians from early on include: „ Before think. Then say.“ , „ Measure ten times. Cut once.“. „ Speaking is Silver, Silence is Gold“.  These teach you the immense underestimated power of words…the power to both nurture and cut as a sword. They also teach you the underestimated power of silence. I remember in secondary school how one of the teachers used to tell my classmate off by saying „ Keep your mouth shut- you look smarter that way“. Well. Although I disapprove as this probably had a subtle damaging effect on the kid, and I believe everyone should be able and encouraged to speak their mind..  we all know very well this to be true on occasions. Certain politicians would certainly look smarter if they were mute. eg. the-one-that-shall-not-be-named-in-the-US. Hell to it, even the head of the Estonian conservative party who is now probably getting to power would look much smarter if he’d keep his mouth shut. Not that I’d recommend it – I think the public has the right to see with their own eyes(ears??) the disastrous things he thinks, says and represents. And in complete honestly, I myself find the stupidity rather amusing. Sad, but amusing. 

Fairy marsh

Being cautious can therefore be a blessing, but it is also a curse. This is reflected in the dark humour of Estonians. Humour is also a defence mechanism so take from this what you wish. The joke goes like this: 

“Once an Estonian man loved his wife so much that he almost told her.” 

Ha-Ha-Ha. I still giggle at this one.. until I let it sink in. There is a thin line between being cautious with your words and being TOO cautious with your words. And oh boi how it is sad when over-cautiousness takes place. There is beauty in being vulnerable and making oneself vulnerable. In fact it is a necessary, but not sufficient, component for any real deep human connection.  It’s a careful craft to master the balance of being cautious, but not overly cautious, for Estonians.

However, it is also pivotal to mention that the cautious nature is also reflected in behaviour. If an Estonian has ever invited you to their home… well.. I think then it is time to face it- you have met what I now classify as an Estonian Unicorn. Estonians very rarely invite people to their homes. Home is not just their castle. Home is their fortress. It is sacred and defended. When an Estonian invites you to their home, even for brief moments, you know that you have made a friend. And yes it might have taken them years to do this. The whole acquaintance-friend distinction is a whole other topic of conversation, but just note that Estonians are slow and, hey-you-guessed-it, cautious, in opening up to people. But once they do they are the most loyal puppies you can have. Someone who believes in astrology once told me that “if Estonians were a zodiac sign. Theyd be cancer”. Im not entirely sure what that is supposed to mean but apparently this reflects the cultural facet of initial cautiousness.  Whatever floats your (metaphor) boat. 

Fairly Artsy Estonian Unicorns spotted
check out: https://www.sileluik.com

I have some untestable hypotheses why this cultural tendency for cautiousness has become so engrained. Primarily I think it is due to the long history of foreign occupations, especially the most recent one- The Soviet Union. The Soviet Union was repressive. It was simply unwise to talk about certain things. Trust was low and it was crucial to practice cautiousness even with your closest friends. Eg. people practiced Christmas behind closed curtains, watched the Finnish television in secret and hid the things they had had the privilege of getting access to from abroad. You did not want to be brought to authorities, you did not want to get deported to Siberia and you never knew who might report you for that.  The need to practice cautiousness to such an extent lasted for 50 years and it is therefore of no surprise that this remains to be culturally embedded. Soviet Union collapsed just a few years before I was born, my older siblings were all born in the Soviet Union and so were my parents. Even after the collapse a period of intense insecurity remained.. It is clear why to an extent the atmosphere of cautiousness is still there and continues to be passed on. I guess psychologists would see it as part of the Jungian collective memory and identity. But I said Ill try to not babble on too much psychology. However, this leads me to another important very Estonian trait as cautiousness should not be mistaken for the lack of boldness. 

Estonians may be cautious but they are also extremely direct, straight-forward and generally keep to their promises. Maybe that is why nobody went to the streets to protest when their beloved hedgehog was not chosen as the National Animal. BOOM. Mind. Blown. Estonians are as much hedgehogs as they are wolves!? Is this possible? To be a hybrid wolf-hog or Hedge-wolf? Practical examination seems to suggest yes.  As said, Estonians are cautious with their words. There is therefore a tendency to make them count. Some of it may be due to the tendency to be practical. Why waste time saying things using lengthy sentences with subtle layered meanings when you can get your point across in a shorter way.  We are all on a run here, through this thing called life, aye mate. Like I have a million and 10 things to do and talking for long ain’t one of them. Afterall it is too cold outside to stop for a chat anyway so just say things as they are in a quick straight to the point manner (as you can see from this post people, like me, dont always adhere to their culture....). However, as words carry meanings for Estonians so do their promises. Did you ask an Estonian to help you move your apartment three months ago and then forgot about it? I bet they are going to be there on the moving day, completely silently offended (..we are reserved people afterall duh) that you had forgotten. They said they’ll come to your housewarming party- they probably will so buy enough snacks(black bread, pickles, mushrooms- all sorts of peculiar snacks are appetitive for Estonians). You ask them to recommend you some nice restaurants.  They will make sure to provide you with a decent list. Loyal, cautious, direct puppy culture which is a mixture of a bold direct confrontational wolf and a cautious hedgehog. 

Three other important points about Estonians that will be relevant to my next discussion:

Fairy flowers

• It is one of the most atheist countries in the world. We are in a constant battle against Czech Republic (Now officially called Czechia??) for the top spot as the most barbaric numero uno non-religious country in the world. Although people display spiritual beliefs, the large majority do not adhere to any one religion. Many consider themselves agnostic more than atheist. The reasons for this are multiple.  During the Soviet Union religion was banned. That period lasted for over half a century. Further, we have had many invaders who all came to shovel their own religion so you can imagine a confused Estonian peasant in the 1500s-1700s just not knowing what to believe anymore, right. More recently I guess this reflects the general decrease in organised religion as a form of power all over the world. If interested read some Foucault on that. Or maybe we are just barbarians. Whatever interpretation you wish to take. 
• Estonians generally are not as expressive in emotions as people in the South. This spins from the cautiousness point, but is important. They open up slow and steadily. Or you can speed up the process by drinking with them. It is as simple of a science as that. However you may also have some luck in unravelling an Estonian if you approach the topics in certain places. As a friendly tip, and I hope I wont be burned by Estonian fairies for spilling the beans, the best places include the sauna and the forest when mushroom picking.  
• There is no fixed eating time but generally the latest people have dinner is 8. And that’s very late. Also people don’t really care what time you eat? It’s such an inconsequential thing. Yes. This will be relevant to my discussion on spanish and latinos.

Top runs of 2018

Running is often considered a rather dull sport. It is one of the most solitary and introvertive sports that one can pick. More than that it takes a heck of dedication and discipline for it to become enjoyable and fulfilling. So why bother? The many benefits of running are widely acknowledged, it allows you to either think through your thoughts and worries and simultaneously it allows you to not think of anything. Liberating. At least once you develop it into a habit.  However I am not here to talk about the many trains of thoughts that running has given me, the way it has allowed me to work through problems, re-focus and recharge… Im here to demonstrate a less acknowledged benefit of running. Something that seemingly contrasts the meditative calming and rather introvertive impact- the adventurous “ it makes a good story” run. This is the adventure filled run, a run where something happens in the outside world. I have had several… seeeeveral fascinating runs in the past years that have not been fascinating due to any eureka thoughts, but due to what I encountered during these runs. Interestingly, but not surprisingly, most of these runs have been abroad whilst travelling or whilst settling into a new place. So here you go, my list of the 5 most fascinating happenings that I had during my runs in 2018. Perhaps this encourages you to go out and run… you never know when something weird will happen that adds to your flow of life..

1)    The one with the rather ‘high up in the clouds’ security guard 

It was a grim early morning in the city of Seattle. We had just arrived the day before and were still greatly struggling with the jet lag. 10 hours is a very uncomfortable time difference. I had managed with great effort to sleep until 4.30 am when I could no longer put off the urge to get up and explore the city. On my own. Making sure my little sister would not wake up I quietly put on my training clothes and went down to the reception to ask for the greatest running route in down. Not even one peculiar look. They must get this fairly often I thought to myself.

It isn’t often that I feel absolutely on top of the world when running, but that morning I did have that vibe that this is going to be a good one. With ABBA pumping through the headphones I set myself on a route. The runners high was not long lasting as I soon noticed rows and rows of homeless people covering the sides of the streets like a sheet of ice. I was suddenly hit with a type of sadness that no amount of ABBA could reduce. If your consciousness is literally bombarded by a very harsh reality there is no way you can ignore it. Perhaps you even shouldn’t . My own privilege, helplessness and brevity in this world started crawling to my consciousness. This is something I spent long hours contemplating on later as some sights simply leave a long lingering train of thought. 

However, it wasn’t long after this shocking sight at 5am that the security guard incident happened. I soon came to a stop as the park that was supposed to be there on the map but was blocked by cars, signs and three people.  Two of these were in security uniforms. I stopped to ask if I can go through the park as this is where the map shows me to go. I gained a very peculiar look and a brief sentence “We open at ten am. In five hours”. I returned the peculiar look with a clarifying statement that I’m just on a run and looking for a way to go. This statement  was apparently even more confusing to the two security guards as the response I got after a good 10 second pause was “Look. We are just setting up. You can come back at 10am, we are all ready then” Followed by giggles. To be honest, I was not too surprised that they were confused. Who on earth would go for a run at 5am? Perhaps it wasn’t even safe neighbourhood, who knows. As I was rolling my eyes and starting to make my exit with the sound of giggles on the background, my eyes stopped on the sign in front of which the security guard was standing. “ The Seattle Hemp Festival”…. Yes….. that makes sense..The giggles, the slow response, the oddness. They were high. The state of Washington has just recently legalized cannabis and they thought Im just a super keen person who wants to already queue for the cannabis festival. 

 2)   The one where I accidentally joined a marathon in a small city in Mexico 

Whoever has ever been to Merida would know that it is a city where it is impossible to run. The streets are like a maze and you need to come for a stop every 10-50 metres as there is a crossing and you need to check all four directions for cars.. people.. and sometimes even donkeys. However, having just gained back my will to run I didn’t let this stop me. I usually ran fairly early in the morning  as it was impossible later than 7am.. too hot, too humid, too crowded.. I’d be too visible too so there would be a lot of looks which I’ve never liked. Anyhow that particular morning I discovered a larger street outside the city centre which had beautiful beautiful colonial houses in a row. As I turned to that street and continued to run I was overtaken by a MASSIVE crowd of people. A massive crowd of people who were also doing the same weird thing that I was doing- running for no particular apparent reason. 

So there I went…gate crashing their run.  In the middle of shorter, darker, cheerful-looking group of Mexicans was a bit taller blonde Teisi wearing a  bright yellow shirt that says“ Tough mans run, Estonia 2015”.

I guess my anxious look of “ what on earth am I doing and why. Where should I go?” might have been quite a sight too. I guess I ran with them for a good kilometre or so, exchanged greetings with a few, until my social awareness kicked in and I decided to turn back. I wouldn’t know how to get back otherwise anyway, sooo there I was now running against the flow of marathon runners in the city of Merida.  

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3) The many many runs in Cuba

The constant dilemma of “Run or Rum” often found an answer in the combination of both in Cuba.  Most of the runs were luckily also in that order, but that didn’t stop the flow of interesting, rather peculiar encounters. I would say that many of the runs were fairly uncomfortable. A bit like a few years back in India where people were just staring and sometimes yelling stuff. The difference was that I didn’t understand Hindi, but I do understand Spanish. Never in my life have I been catcalled as much as in Cuba, especially during running. On one occasion in Havana I tried to measure the longest distance I can run without anyone commenting or cat-calling and the longest I could reach was about 800 metres. I gave up after that and just pumped up the volume in my headphones. This should not have surprised me as you can look as ugly as ever in your life but the Cubans would live up to their infamous reputation and still try to make a move on you. However, there was one run that stood out from those messy catcaller-runs. Namely one time a random man started running next to me. I had already given up on having normal engaging conversations in Cuba as they would fairly soon turn into a “ do you have a fiancé”” do you want to cheat on your boyfriend” type of conversations. I had created an alter-ego where I was engaged to a long-term boyfriend in order to have an easy way to reject someone… which clearly still rarely deterred anyone though. Anyhow I was clearly wary when that guy started running next to me. However, it turned out to be a brief, interesting 5 minute conversation after which our running paths departed. With no hint of him trying to hit on me. “ Where are you running? For how long? Why do you run? What do you do for a living? Do you like Cuba?”. Very simple. Very nice. Adios, with no see ya later. 

It is simply weird how a fascinating encounter turns out to be one that is completely normal.  This exemplifies how normality is defined by the context.. when suddenly catcalled filled runs are the norm, almost not even uncomfortable, it is the otherwise “ normal” encounters and conversations that become abnormal and out of the blue fascinating. 

4)   The one with feminist protests.

Spain. It was the 8^thof March when Spain was overtaken by a national strike to support gender equality, reduction and elimination of the pay gap, and otherwise policies that would encourage workplace and domestic equality. This one was brief. But funny. At least for me at the time. I went for a run in the river. Which is actually a park. But it used to be a river so that’s what people still call it. The whole city was filled with people, either protesting or simply having a day off. The river-park was not completely crowded but there were definitely more people than usually, but less runners. As  I was running past a group of friends they started cheering (in Spanish) “ Go blondes! higher wages for blonde women! Higher wages for blonde women!” To be honest objectively on any other day I would have found it quite demeaning- who on earth are you to assume that blonde women don’t have a sufficiently high salary?? But as it was the international womens day.. the day of the strike, it just made me giggle really really hard. The funniest part was that I stuttered back thank you.. but not in Spanish, no.. As I was listening to a song in Russian I stuttered back SPASIBO. Im not sure if they heard that or would have known what it meant, but it was just such a weird, funny exchange that made me giggly long after it was over. 

5)   The one with Mary.

Mary. Mary. I wondered for a while who could have been this special and mysterious Mary. Was it an ex-lover that you had regretfully let go in your youth, your mothers neighbour, your dog-walker? I made a few versions of the story in my head until I got bored. I will never know and to be honest I dont even really care. I had just moved to London and began discovering new running routes when this guy started running after me for a good 100-200 metres. I took out my headphones and heard him yell from the bottom of his heart " MARY. MARY WAIT!!!" Followed by " no.. youre not Mary..". Disheartening. Hilarious. Both at the same time. I wish I had been Mary. Or maybe not? What if this was the stalkerish jealous ex-boyfriend of Mary ready to commit another London stabbing. oh well.

So here you go. Running can bring interesting encounters.