Monday, November 19, 2012

I'm tired.

I'm so incredibly tired that I lack of words to describe it. I'm exhausted of facts, dates, running club, being socially active.

I'm so incredibly tired, but at the same time I'm incredibly happy. I've rarely encountered a feeling like this, but I like to think that I've found a sort of internal sort of happiness. Do our feelings make our thoughts or do our thoughts create our feelings? I prefer to believe that our feelings and surroundings create our thoughts. I've been surrounded with some horrible people recently... the ones that are horrible according to my definition, people whose only way of feeling good is making everyone(and I mean EVERYONE) feel bad. I'm sorry if you feel touched by this talk, but the moment you affect my friends, it affects me and it's just stupid what you are unconsciously trying to achieve.
I'm just bored of boring people... On the other hand, I've developed a skill to just block them out. It's even sort of nice to see how defenceless they are when they realise that they have absolutely no power over you. I concentrate on the people who are important to me and actually matter. I've also been surrounded my people who love me. I'm so lucky to have many of them.

I'm still tired.

I'm so so tired that my head is completely blank and I'm sure that I'm gonna spend the night sleep-talking about re-assurance treaty and Kaiser Wilhelm and Alexander II and basically everything... But in the end it doesn't even matter as the exams will be over in a weeks time and I'm getting ready to spend the weekend in London!! After that I'm gonna go back home and fly to Kenya!!! If the endless tiredness keeps dragging me down, I try to remind myself that it's soon gonna be over......for a short period of time, but it's simply going to be amaziiiiing. There's always something to look forward to. ok, I'm probably just in my little bubble of happiness at the moment. The amazing combination of tiredness and happiness. I better go to bed now as I'm using my blog as a place for procrastination at the moment and it's not doing anything good before exams.

Wish me good luck!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

Saturday, November 10, 2012

I´m in love with Tim Burton´s work. Ideas put into moving pictures. Just as photography captured into something bigger, better and even more beautiful.

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Why do we Ignore?

Sometimes I wish I was a naive little girl again. Ignorance is bliss they say and the realization of this is a long process. I've  done a lot of thinking the past few days and the more I think the more confused I get. That's something that life is based on-confusing us with all the complications and ugly truths of human nature, which gets us thinking. I've always known that we, humans, are selfish, but it has always been a rational and  simple thought that never developed anywhere. Sometimes I do wish I was a naive person again. That I'd go to a ordinary state-school, which provides me with information and stuffed me up with what they call "truth." When in fact there is no universal truth about anything. There is no truth- but in that case, is it true that there is no truth? I feel like I'm getting over philosophical. One thing is sure-there is nothing you can rely on. I suppose the older you get, the more you start to realise how bliss ignorance can be, but once you've started thinking, there's no turning back. That's what is  bothering me most. Why am I a person who thinks so much... I'm not talking about over-thinking and analysing, although that's also a "problem", but rather why am a type of person who goes through something like over-thinking about inevitable global problems.
I assume it's better to have problems with "overthinking", as this indicates that the other aspects of my life(essential and social well-being) are alright. But sometimes I do wish there was a overall answer to everthing. If anyone has read Yevgeni Zamjatin 's "We" , then life actually seems so much easier in such social setting. Even the "Hunger Games" by Suzanne Collins can give you an idea how life is at least simpler in a social setting like that. But is life really meant to be easy? To take the easiest and most comfortable path and just live as you are told to? I don't say that I'd prefer the setting where this story takes place, because as I said - once you start thinking, there's no way of getting out of it. Once you start analysing or seeing a bigger picture- it seems impossible for me to ignore it. The truth(how ironic) is, that people do ignore it. People tend to ignore everything that's uncomfortable. Let's bring in global warming as an example. Here are some of my 3 suggestions why people find it easier to not pay attention to this:

1. Selfishness.
Humans are naturally selfish. Everything we do is for our own well-being. There's nothing wrong with that, as it is a completely natural behaviour. We have friends to not feel lonely. We give money to charity because doing good makes you feel good. This is all well-explained by how we evolved.
There are still people who don't admit that there is global warming, but why? They ignore it out of their selfishness. How does it have anything to do with selfishness? Well we are selfish, because we want to feel good and comfortable, admitting a problem doesn't let us do so, therefore it's easier to just say it doesn't exist. It doesn't affect me now, so we shouldn't bother with it- "my well-being is fine at the moment, so I ignore it"

2. Problems in other aspects of life.
I suppose everyone can relate to this one and actually understand the reasons behind this. When one has any complications in their relationship, problems with school-related work or with the place they live - simply issues that need your immediate attention, it's almost impossible to think that there is a global issue that would need our attention. This comes back to selfishness- need for our own well-being. At the same time, ignoring the problem, while being aware of it comes naturally. I can see my roommate writing her final TOK-essay and I naturally don't expect her to be struggling to find a universal solution to global warming- would sound like non-sense to her,wouldn't it? Tomorrow, when I have important homework to do, I wouldn't spend time analysing something like this. I will not even bother to come and read through to see if I posted a complete non-sense.
 Most likely you, who are reading this, don't have many problems, as you have made it that far and have the time to read blogs-surf the internet-procrastinate, you most likely don't have any serious concerns. Therefore you have time to think everything through.. or you are simply looking for pictures that I usually post, or didn't expect to find any philosophical thought, but continued to read out of interest-but you get my point. It is hard for everyone to deal with something that doesn't affect you at the moment and global-warming is a on-going let's ignore it for a moment.

3. There isn't much to do about it.
 Global-warming is an example of a problem, which a single person can not change. One can change many things concerning themselves, their well-being or anything surrounding them. Global warming isn't something there isn't much to do about it. I'm laying here and writing on my lap-top and there is nothing I can do- feeling helpless. It's not like I'm a young person who feels that she needs to change the world(although I sometimes do) by ending the unnatural part of global-warming. It's simply that we can't do anything about it by ourselves and there comes ignoring. Why bother with something that you can't do much about, when 1. It doesn't help you at the moment(selfishness) 2. You have so so many other worries concerning everything else that seems more important. 3. There's only limited amount that you can do.

Simply ignoring is natural and easy, even when we are aware of the problem. Ignorance is bliss, but so is ignoring. Even though there are reasons why people ignore problems, it sometimes still surprises me how easily people can shut their eyes to it. But at the same time there is nothing I can personally do about it, so I'll just ignore how people do it... isn't life ironic?