I've come to a conclusion that time is here to measure how well we are living our lives. Whether we live it the way we enjoy it and whether things we do are right for us. Time passes anyway and it can be a torture. At one point it always is a torture. You are waiting for something and it just doesn't seem to function at the right speed and then suddenly your long waited holiday is over. Just like that. A split of a second. Maybe two, if you are lucky enough. Still full of memories, but it's even scary how fast time can go and now, once again, I'm on my way back to Oxford. Not knowing how I feel or how should I act. It feels like ages since I've been here, as so much happened during the past two weeks, but at the same time it feels like yesterday. But I have to admit, I've never felt better about coming back. Ok, maybe not about coming back, but i finally feel like actually used to the place and it feels more and more like home. There is always something to look forward to, in every stage of life and I actually do have a lot to look forward to before the summer.
I still remember clearly how we went to see Ragnar's game, slept til late afternoon, did shisha, cooked some sweetsour chicken, tiramisu(which Geit didnt even dare to taste) and that pasta inspired from 9gag. And it was just yesterday that we played pool with my sister.
And the conclusion to all this way too sentimental talk is, that I've come up with a solution. The reason we have this(sorry for the following expression..not as carefully chosen words as they should be) shitty relative time is to measure how well is everything going for us. But what kind of a logic is it? Why does everything good pass by so fast, while everything else takes ages. This doesnt please people, or make them feel good about memories. it makes everything just miserable. But at the same time, if something lasts longer, then maybe it wouldnt be enjoyable anymore? We are just built this way. Happiness needs to be balanced with sorrow, just so you'd appreciate it and it wouldn't lose its value. But the saddest part is that there is not a fucking thing you can do to change it. You may fight as much as you want, but you archive absolutely nothing. Furthermore, after giving "time" another worthless minute of your precious thinking-time, you haven't come up with any new thoughts, you repeat something that has crossed your mindfrom time to time and you feel even worse than before. You have no power over anything, it is your job just to keep on ticking..

"There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness" - Carl Gustav Jung




Just some thought that came to me while driving back from Heathrow.