I haven't been writing for a while now. Why? I have no idea... Too much work? Too much to do? Well there isn't anything specific going on in my life, but I suppose school, trainings, social life and sleep take up most of my time. Though im now finished with exams and just getting ready for a few  university visits, trip to Lisbon, brak at home for 2 weeks and then going to South Italy. Quite a variety of events coming up I assume.
I've been playing some table tennis, going running every day for a few weeks and started some very interesting books that I'd like to share with you. I have no idea whether I've mentioned them before or when was the last time I posted something, so my apologies to the ones that

Mind on hakanud huvitama kirjandus ja muusika, milles ma varem mitte midagi ei leidnud. Ma ei tea mis muutus on minus toimunud või kas see on tulnud ajapikku, kuid nüüd järsku suudan leida luules midagi imepärast. Midagi sellist mis annab ei anna vaid mõtteainet, aga ka vastavas kontekstis rahustab. Paneb mõistma kui mitmekülgne on maailm ning kui huvitav on mõnda täiesti tavapärast fenomeni mõnest teisest küljest vaadelda.
Võib-olla hakkan vanaks jääma.
Selge see, et see kõlab irooniliselt, aga mind pole mitte kunagi varem sellised asjad huvitanud..... Kas minuga on midagi valesti? Ei.
Või siiski.. olen viimased kaks päeva plavikus kodus istunud ja üleliia vett joonud ja õunu söönud..
Samas pole see nüüd väga äkiline muutus. Kui mind eelmine aasta sunniti luulesse süvenema, siis leidsin ka sealt endale teadvustamata huvitavat materjali. Pole palju võimalusi või sõnu, mis aitaksid edasi kanda mõtet, ideed, emotsiooni. Kõige keerulisem ongi vist viimasena.. kuidas saab kirjeldada tundeid, mida vahel on raske endalegi seletada? Tunne ju sõltubki paljuski sellest, kuidas inimene otsustab seda tõlgendada. Luule on minu arust aga suurepärane vahend, mis on nüüd jõudnud kõige lähedamale tunnete ja sündmuste  "tõelise tähenduse" edasi kandmisse.
Ka sündmustele annab ju tähenduse siiski tunne, mille tõttu see meelde jääb. Sellepärast ehk ongi meil raske panna teisi inimesi mõistma teatud sündmusega kaasnenud elamust..
Ühesõnaga, kõik mida ma selle lühikese postitusega tahan öelda on :
 Lugege luulet.
Võtke väike osake oma päevast ja pöörake tähelepanu millegile, mida pole varem väärtustanud. Sellest võib teile endale lõpuks kasu tulla.
Kuulake head ja huvitavat muusikat.

Little Red-Cap

Carol Ann Duffy

At childhood’s end, the houses petered out

into playing fields, the factory, allotments

kept, like mistresses, by kneeling married men, 

the silent railway line, the hermit’s caravan, 

till you came at last to the edge of the woods. 

It was there that I first clapped eyes on the wolf. 

He stood in a clearing, reading his verse out loud 

in his wolfy drawl, a paperback in his hairy paw, 

red wine staining his bearded jaw. What big ears

he had! What big eyes he had! What teeth!

In the interval, I made quite sure he spotted me, 

sweet sixteen, never been, babe, waif, and bought me a drink, 

my first. You might ask why. Here’s why. Poetry.

The wolf, I knew, would lead me deep into the woods,

away from home, to a dark tangled thorny place

lit by the eyes of owls. I crawled in his wake,

my stockings ripped to shreds, scraps of red from my blazer

snagged on twig and branch, murder clues. I lost both shoes

but got there, wolf’s lair, better beware. Lesson one that night, 

breath of the wolf in my ear, was the  love poem.

I clung till dawn to his thrashing fur, for

what little girl doesn’t dearly love a wolf?

Then I slid from between his heavy matted paws

and went in search of a living bird – white dove –

which flew, straight, from my hands to his hope mouth.

One bite, dead. How nice, breakfast in bed, he said,

licking his chops. As soon as he slept, I crept to the back

of the lair, where a whole wall was crimson, gold , aglow with books.

Words, words were truly alive on the tongue, in the head,

warm, beating, frantic, winged; music and blood.

But then I was young – and it took ten years 

in the woods to tell that a mushroom

stoppers the mouth of a buried corpse, that birds

are the uttered thought of trees, that a greying wolf

howls the same old song at the moon, year in, year out,

season after season, same rhyme, same reason. I took an axe

to a willow to see how it wept. I took an axe to a salmon

to see how it leapt. I took an axe to the wolf

as he slept, one chop, scrotum to throat, and saw 

the glistening, virgin white of my grandmother’s bones.

I filled his old belly with stones. I stitched him up.

Out of the forest I come with my flowers, singing, all alone.

Trying out vegan diet for a week. My motives, introduction and Day 1

This post will be a little different from the previous ones. I should rather say that the next 7 posts will be concentrating on a challenge I've decided to take. I have no idea where the idea exactly came from, but I've always been interested in vegetarianism and veganism. Although I'm not a vegan or not even a vegetarian I understand their motives and value their commitment highly. Therefore I hope no-one misinterprets my aim in this challenge and understands that it's all about my personal interest.

So the challenge I've taken is to try out their lifestyle, precisely veganism, for a week. Many may say that this limited time will not give me an good idea of veganism. At this point, I must say that this is not my intention. I know what veganism is and I've done plenty of research on their nutrition, I've even ordered some vegan chocolate, sweets and sausages(!!). My aim is not to get what veganism is, but to understand how determined they must be and to see what obstacles come on the way. I do know that one week is not comparable to actually experiencing it but it will give me a glimpse of the pros and cons of being a vegan, without entirely excluding the moral benefits. During this week, my blog is transformed into a informal diary where I'll note down how it has affected me so far.  I've talked to vegetarians and vegans, who have given me an idea of what I can expect. I also want to thank them for the help and support. I also feel the need to note that I hope my other friends will not judge, tempt or talk about it too much, as you can follow it all here and I appreciate your understanding. 

 I agree that one week may not be enough to affect my social life too much, for example going to eat out with friends and having to say no to basically everything. I also have know that I can not label it as being a full-vegan-for-a-week, as veganism also includes more than just abstaining from animal-based foods. At this point, I'd like to go on to my first day as trying out vegan diet for a week. 

Day 1

I can confidently say that I'm as prepared as I can possibly be, excluding some natural draw backs such as finding out that my chocolate will not arrive until the end of the month..... Which means basically that  I will abstain from chocolate among other things. How awful as it may sound, it's not gonna make a huge difference. I've had a week without any added sugar or sweet products, and the benefits of it were undescribable. To make it short and not to concentrate on my previous weird challenge, I will just say that as my blood sugar was normal without extra sugar, it was quite enjoyable. 

However my preparation for the week didn't consist of only ordering chocolate. I went to a local supermarket just 15 minutes away with my vegetarian friend(you are incredibly precious, Marci!!), who helped me buy food for the next days without any unconscious mistakes. I'm now stocked with vegan bread, various salads, smoothies and fruits, which will help me get through the next days. We are also planning to go to a vegan restaurant this weekend which already sounds to be delicious!

So I'd say there weren't many draw backs today and I coped well. I also discovered that it's even possible to buy some vegan snacks from school. It is indeed limited, but I'm happy that there's any at all. A few smoothies can actually fill you up very quickly after school and you have more free time during lunch as you don't need to queue for any food and can easily prepare it at home. I'm still a bit worried about the limitations I have, as it's not very varied, but I do my best to maintain my determination. The tomato soup I had for lunch was perfect and as you can imagine, I still find it incredibly delicious. I'm glad I discovered it and am able to now keep buying it even after my vegan-week will end. So even though I can't join others at the cookies time(a break time after school, where you can get tea, coffee and biscuits) and have to watch them drink their Latte and eat freely, there's nothing tempting about it. 

So I'll finish it today and provide you with more information tomorrow. One day as a vegan hasn't changed my sleeping habits and I still need my at least 8-hour beauty sleep(figuratively speaking).

SIMPLY BECAUSE ME AND HELEN ARE GOING TO LONDON THIS WEEKEND AND TO BLINK-182 CONCERT ON FRIDAY!!! WUHUUUUUU.  And I´m gonna visit her in August!!!!!!!

 Aga meie lähme Blink 182 kontserdile see reede +veedame viimase nädalavahetuse Londonis. NING MA LÄHEN TALLE AUGUSTIS SAKSAMAALE KÜLLAA!!!!

Almost there :)

Sorry, I haven´t been in a condition to write for a while... but it´s getting better and I´ll post some photos etc. Also next time when I happen to have some motivation, i´ll use it properly                                   

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Istun hetkel siin laua taga ja lihtsalt ootan, et see nädal juba läbi saaks. Täiesti kohutavalt masendav esmaspäev, millele järgnes veelgi masendavam teisipäev. Ainuke lootust andev tegur on olnud Helen(mu uus toakaaslane). Ma poleks iial uskunud, et alguses täiesti võõra inimesega tuppa sattumine võib selliseks õnnistuseks osutuda. Mõne inimesega lihtsalt klapib ja kohe sobib.. see on ikka väga kaugel sellest raskest toajagamisest mida ma alguses pelgasin. Suuresti muidugi ka minu esimesel toakaaslasele(no offence, aga tagasi mõeldes oli ta ikka tõeline bitch). Ilma Helenita oleksin siin kolm päeva lihtsalt oma voodis lamanud ja mitte kuhugi liikunud. Meil toas tujud ka liiguvad ühelt inimeselt teise, niiet üksteisest arusaamiseks pole vaja isegi pingutada. Eelmine nädal kusjuures lõppes üllatavalt hästi. Reedene päev oli lihtsalt kirjeldamatult naljakas ning isegi laupäeva nautisime, missest et me mõlemad vaid paar tundi maganud olime. Aga no eks selline nädalavahetus peabki kohe kontrastiks saama esmaspäeva oma kõikide eksisteerivate probleemidega. Eilne õhtu paistis aga jällegi helgemas valguses ning tõi natuke inimlikkust tagasi. Ma ei kujuta ette kuidas ma ennast sinna kohale vedasin, aga läksime siis Kristellega varem pinksi mängima. Pärast kahte tundi olin küll päris läbi, aga palju paremaks läks olemine kohe. Trennikaaslaste huumor läheb küll peale, samas nüüd järgmine nädal pole jälle trenne, sest inglastel on nädalane vaheaeg.. meil lõppeb see eest kool varem. Kuid vähemalt suutis see mu olemise paremaks teha.
Päris mõttetu ülevaade, aga pidin kuhugi üles kirjutama kuidas ma ennast viimastel päevadel liigutada pole suutnud... Kui ma selle nüüd kõrvale jätan ja üritan veel märkimisväärsete asjade peale mõelda, siis avastan, et ka vaatamata sellele millest ma just kirjutasin, on paljugi muud juhtunud.
Otsustasin lõpuks oma ained järgmiseks kaheks aastaks ära. Loodetavasti enam muutusi selles ei tule, sest siis läheks päris keeruliseks asi. Psühholoogia, Bioloogia ja Ajalugu HL ja English A, Spanish ja matemaatika SL. Lõpuks anti mulle siis luba inglise keel emakeelena võtta, mis mind isegi meeldivalt üllatuma pani. Eesti keele õppimises ma erilist mõtet ei näe, eriti kui mul on võimalus kolmas keel praegu juurde õppida... Aga eks paistab kui raskeks mul see kõik kujuneb.
Lauatennises on samuti päris hästi läinud. Üle eelmine nädalavahetus oli invitation tournament. Naistest tulin teiseks, mis oli kusjuures väga pettuma panev, sest ma pole sellele finaalivastasele peaaegu kordagi kaotanud ja nüüd andisin nii lihtsalt talle viimase setti ära.... Segapaaris aga võidsin Jingyu´ga, mis kohati kompenseeris mu kaotuse. Samuti sain aasta juuniori tiitli :) Ma ei tea kas olen maininud, aga mul on neljapäeval nüüd veel üks trenn juures, kus Oxfordshire´i kaks parimat mängijat käivad meid treenimas, mis on päris hästi läinud. Kõige parem osa on muidugi autosõit sinna ja tagasi, sest see suudab meeleolu heaks teha. Üks kord see poolakas andis mulle oma teed, mida ta poola poest pidevalt ostab. Päris naerma ajas küll, aga maitsev glögi-maitseline tee oli vähemalt.  Pluss alati kestvad kommentaarid minu õige treeneri sõidustiili kohta, sest me keegi ei tunne ühtegi 65-aastast kes nii kiiresti sõidaks. Kõige parem osa sellejuures on, et kõik teised mäletavad ka paremini millal ta oma trahvid on saanud ja ta paar korda kuus ikka räägib nendest.
Aga nüüd ma luban, et kui mul järgmine kord kirjutamise tuju tuleb, siis ma tõesti avan blogi ja kirjutan midagi huvitavat ka üle pika-pika aja. Arvatavasti küll inglise keeles, sest pärast selle postituse läbi lugemist on igasugune isu eesti keeles kirjutada kadunud.


Peaaegu nädalavahetus.... peaaegu suvevaheaeg.

Seni aga veidike üleeelmise nädalvahetuse pilte, kui ma Isiga Blenheim palaceis käisin :

Today was a perfect day. It was one of those days, where everything went just right. It really was a nice day, with the best ending ever! I just got a letter from vice-principal, saying that i can share a room with Helen next year!!!! This was so unlikely and my happinness and relief is just unexplainable. Everything will be so much easier and I absolutely love sharing a room with her! Its just perfect! And today was just incredibly nice. The weather. Strawberrys. Blenheim palace. And of course i should mention my very best Mother, as it was also Mothers day.
I think that whenever i feel down, i should remember that there are always those nice days to look forward to. They come suddenly and make you feel so much better. It was a great change, as I've been feeling quite bad for the past weeks, so it just helped me so much. Thank you Isi!!!!! And thank you St. Clares for putting a perfect ending to my day!!! And thank you mom .... for just always being there for me, no matter how far I actually am!!!! And thank you everyone else, who i havent talked to for a while, im still thankful that i have you all!!! And i also want to thank you, the anonymous stranger(or simply stalker), reading my blog every once in a while.


Pictures following soon. PREVIEW:

No kohe üldse pole tuju. Lihtsalt ei ole. Ei ole tuju kooli jaoks. Ei ole tuju kirjutada. Joonistada. Pildistada. Ainuke inimene, eks mu siin täiesti lounimisest välja toob, on mu toakaaslane Helen. Temaga on küll vahepeal nii tohutult palju juhtunud ja ta põhimõtteliselt ainuke inimene kes suudab mu tuju paremaks ka teha. Järelikult peabki nii olema, et vahepeal pole kohe üldse tuju midagi teha.. Vahel ehk peabki kõik korraga ära tüütama ja viitsimine nullis olema.
Samas ma ei näe sellel mingit põhjust. Viimasel nädalal on just päris palju head juhtunud- pinksis on head treeningud ja võistlused olnud, koolis on ka täpselt need ained mida ma tahan ning isegi tunniplaan sobib päris hästi. Kõige nõmedamaks pean ma asja juures vist enda vingumist. Tõsiselt ka, ma ei mõista mis mul peas toimub, et ma viimasel ajal nii palju vingun. Aga no mis seal ikka, loen veidike raamatut ja magan ennast parem välja, väsitav trenn oli ka täna. Järjekordne lühike lõik on mu elust siia üles kirjutatud.
Nautige muusikat ja pilte mis ma ühel õhtupoolikul pärast jooksmist tegin. ( jooksin tuppa tagasi kaamera järgi, sest ilm tundus heaks(loe:tormiseks) pöörduma) :

Translation: Basically I just dont bother to do anything .I cant even make myself write something, not even mentioning doing anything for school. Lack of motivation is killing me, although there´s no reason for it. Table tennis has been pretty good lately and theres nothing wrong in school either. And then I just keep whining...... Anyway at least my (the best one ever!!) roommate doesnt let me be a complete loner and can cheer me up anytime.
Seriously.. I should just get some sleep and everything will be better. My blog is called "love life and life will love you back" for a reason, therefore i should really stop writing this non-sense.
Enjoy the music and the few photos I took.

Viimane pilt on sellepärast, et ma tegin Eestis hästi palju süüa ja sinna hulka kuulus ka TIRAMISUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU !1 Ning jah, see vääris igat suurt capslockiga U-tähte

:)))))))